November

It's been awhile since I've actually had any time to sit down at my computer, so I haven't been the best blogger. Thank you to everyone who wished Jon & me a happy anniversary. Our anniversary weekend was filled with emotion. We had a great day, but the end of it was filled with saddness because my friend's father passed away. I have known Emily & her family since I was 3, & we went to school & had almost all of the same classes from Pre-K through High School Graduation. As an adult I had the priviledge of working in the same operating room with her dad on several occasions. My dad (an OBGYN) & her dad (a pediatrician) have worked side by side since our family moved to Texarkana over 23 years ago, & our moms are friends. I wrote a blog post talking about Dr. Burns & his pizza making skills back in June you can read about it here http://bowiecountyhousewife.blogspot.com/2010/06/childhood-ambitions.html Dr. Burns was a Green Beret, and earned a Bronze Star & a Purple Heart for his service in the Vietnam War, but not many people even knew that side of him. I didn't even know it until 4 or 5 years ago, & I was completely astounded because he was always the kindest, most gentle, soft spoken man. Even in the midst of very stressful situations where I have seen many other doctors snap at nurses & lose their tempers, I never heard him raise his voice or talk down to anyone. Some people want their lives to really make waves, and they believe that in order to leave a lasting impression they have to draw a lot of attention to themselves. Dr. Burns never tried to draw any attention to himself, but had a quiet dependable presence that many came to rely on in ways that they didn't even realize until after he was gone. He tried to live his life in service to God and to others, and in turn has left a legacy that will not be forgotten.

Jon & I had just finished eating our dinner at one of the restaurants at the Gaylord Texan when my phone rang with the news that he had suddenly passed away with a heart attack. Somehow, sad things have a way of happening on days that are supposed to be happy. My best friend Jacqueline Poulos drowned in Galveston on Mother's day when we were very young. My cousin Catherine turned 25 & found out she was expecting her first child the same day our grandfather Papa passed away. Mine & Jon's 3rd anniversary was the last time we saw my grandmother MayMay before she passed way on Thanksgiving day, 3 days later. Right after I got the news about Dr. Burns I couldn't help but ask God, "Why do these things always seem to happen when it's supposed to be a happy day?" Over the past week I've come to understand. As a Christian God promises that in the midst of death, there is life. In the midst of sorrow, there is joy. Everything that happens in our life is meant to be used for His Glory & to reach out to others. Sometimes we aren't able to reach out to other people until we have actually been through our own valleys.

I am so unworthy of the Grace that has been given to me. There are so many ways that I fail God, myself, & others. I'm only human, and I have a lot of limitations. I fail at a lot of things, and if I allow myself to dwell on it, then I am the world's best at defeating myself. No one knows how to bring me down better than I do! I can find the flaws in other people's accusations against me, but if I decide to swing the hammer on myself, I will hit the "sweet spot" every single time. Everytime I do or say something wrong I immediately find fault with myself. I am awful when I try to tell a lie because as soon as it comes out anyone who knows me can catch the sudden look of conflict that I can't hide on my face. I am a very tender hearted person, and I make no apologies for my lack of a "poker face." Fortunately and unfortunately I have inherited a great deal of my personality from my grandfather Papa. I have watched that man experience every kind of emotion from happiness, to gratefulness, to fear, worry, anger, sadness, and laughter. He didn't try to hide his feelings, and he'd always say, "It is what It is!" I can't tell you how often I find myself saying the same thing. I've never been able to pretend I like something, when I don't. I've never been able to conceal my delight, enthusiasm, or excitement over things that I love. We are never more than a breath away from leaving this world, so we shouldn't try to hide our feelings from one another. When you love someone, don't just say it, SHOW IT! Try to show others the appreciation you have for them while you are able, because you never know how much they may need or appreciate your encouragement!

A Challenge

Everyone has so much going on in their lives these days. I think about a few words from a song sung by Lady Antebellum "I run my life... Or is it running me?" I can totally relate to that. There is so much that is wrong in our culture in the United States today, and one of the big ones is that we never stop running! Some of us spend months or years at a time going through a non-stop routine that is absolutely exhausting. We go to bed at night, and our minds are still racing so fast that we can't sleep. How many of us have beautiful homes filled with books, movies, games, magazines, and journals that we never really get to enjoy? We have yards that we only work in, but never actually sit outside to enjoy how lovely they actually look. We have so many wonderful people in our lives that we think about often, but never actually take the time to send them a word of encouragement. There have been days when I either wanted to throw my hands up in the air, or just sit down and cry.
I have been so blessed to have many wonderful people to encourage me along the way, but one person made a very big impact in my life with something very small. Bro. Bill Steeger who was our minister starting when I was in high school until after Jon and I got married (He is actually the one who married us, did our pre-marriage counseling, & also career decision counseling for us). I'm sure he is still doing this at his current church in Paragould, Arkansas... Everyday, he prays for someone in the congregation that has been put on his mind, he takes the day sheet off of his desk calendar, writes them a message on the back, & mails it to them. Over the years I was always astounded with how every time he sent me a note from the day sheet it was right when I needed encouragement them most. One time was during the first month I was away from home & feeling very homesick at college. One time I had been sick in the hospital with dehydration and a very bad virus. One time was when my puppy died from distemper. Once was on mine and Jon's wedding day. There were many more times, when I'd go to the mail box, or come home from school, and find a letter waiting on the kitchen counter for me with just a quick word of encouragement. It meant so much to me that I have kept every one of them. Just to know that in the midst of this chaotic world, there was another person out there that was thinking and praying for me, and took the time to write me a personal note put an extra burst of wind in my sails.
As Christians, God calls us to lift each other up in encouragement. So, I'd like to give you a challenge! If someone's name keeps coming up in your mind (you don't have to have seen this person for a year or two) I urge you to stop and pray for everything that you can actually think of that is going on in their life, & for God to help them with any challenges that they might be dealing with. NO, You aren't done YET... Then write them an e-mail, or send them a letter. It doesn't have to be long! I promise you, there is a reason that person has come to your mind, and although you may never know the reason or what circumstance they are in, you will have done something to give them encouragement, and the effect has no limit!

Childhood Ambitions

How do people decide stuff like, "gee I want to be an accountant or a high school superintendant?" How on earth did I end up with a masters degree in interprofessional health and human service administration? I was sitting on my porch swing this morning letting the dogs do their thing, when I began to think about the things I used to want to be when I grew up. Do you ever wonder what the child version of yourself would think about how you've ended up?

Once upon a time I had some really "high and lofty aspirations" I remember when I was little I wanted to work at Sam's or Sonic and wear roller skates when I grew up. That should start dating things for you, yep we're talking 1980s. I remember this one woman who used to work at our Sam's that had what I thought was a really pretty perm and some really cool white and pink roller skates. Anytime someone needed a price check at a register, off she'd fly. My cousins and I used to play Sam's skater in the garage. We'd gather up some stuff from the house, and strategically put it all over the place, and then we'd see who was the best Sam's skater. I guess someone filed a lawsuit, and put an end to that career. I'm glad Sonic has brought back the roller skates, even though the first few weeks they were doing it here this spring there were a few busts, and it was pretty obvious most of the car hops hadn't touched a pair of roller skates in over a decade, maybe two.

The other job that I thought would be really cool was making pizzas. One time when we were in kindergarten Emily Burns-King's dad, Dr. Burns came to school for some sort of show and tell day, and made pizzas because that was how he worked his way through school, then the did a quick physical on everyone. I couldn't understand for the life of me what would make him decide to abandon the fine art of pizza making, and be a pediatrician (those people give kids shots, and shots were NO fun). Everyone was much more excited about the pizza making, he even threw the dough up in the air, which made him the uncontested coolest parent in kindergarten. My dad used to be a full service gas station attendant, then he worked in a lumber yard so I could understand why he decided to be a doctor, but I remembered thinking Dr. Burns had made a mistake. LOL!!!

I have a feeling the childhood version of me would be really confused about how I've ended up, but the plus side is I do teach at a college, I have my own boards that no one else can write on, and I get to use dry erase markers A LOT! I even use different colored ones when I change topics. I guess that is how I'd have to explain my job to a bunch of kids in order to sound sort of cool. I'll have to keep these things in mind for when I have kids one day, especially if they decide to take me to show and tell.