Do you ever have something very heavy on your heart, that try as you might, you can't stop thinking about? There are things you learn growing up with a nurse for a mother, and an obstetrician for a father that really impress a knowledge that pretty much anyone can have a baby, but not everyone has what it takes to be a real parent. There are approximately 9 million known children in the world that have been abandoned or placed in orphanages. Out of those children fewer than 1 million of them will ever have a real home and family that cares for them. I know that most couples want to have their own biological children that have their father's eyes, and their mother's nose, but is that what really matters? A shared gene pool doesn't make you more of a family. I'm not saying that people shouldn't have their own children, but I know many people who claim that they "desperately want a child", so they shell out the big bucks for all sorts of infertility treatments and procedures. Don't get me wrong, modern medicine is amazing, and if that is the way God calls you to create your family then that is awesome. I just think it would be awesome if instead of using things like IVF, more people actually looked around and said, "With so many children in need of a home, why don't we spend our money on adopting a child that already exists, and desperately needs us?"
I believe part of the reason more couples don't consider adoption is because they aren't aware of what is happening to children in other parts of the world. I know that children in many places are enduring hardship that we can't imagine, but I want to share with you some of the things I have learned about Russia while I was working on my master's degree in Interprofessional Health & Human Services, and through personal research so I can give more specific examples. Did you know that right now in Russia there are 1.5 million children that are available for adoption? In Russia the primary birth control treatment is abortion. Yeah, you read that right. Most people can't afford to pay for oral contraceptives, and condoms aren't in every 7-11 on the corner, but abortions are provided for free through their health system. It isn't uncommon for doctors to see women who have had over 20 abortions. If a woman doesn't realize she is pregnant early enough for a D&C then they carry the child to term, and leave it at the hospital. From the moment a mother abandons her child, they are automatically labeled by the government as disabled. In Moscow a new mother recently walked to the nursery to check on her newborn. Across the hall from the regular nursery was another room with at least 20 other newborns that were completely naked laying in their own waste with tape placed over their mouths so that no one would hear them cry. She had her camera phone, and was able to capture what we find unbelievable. It is actually a common practice for nurses and orphanage keepers to tape the mouths of infants and to tie toddlers down on their beds so that no one will have to see or hear them. It doesn't take more than a couple of weeks, and suddenly the child no longer cries, no longer tries crawling, or walking around. Completely healthy children are completely neglected, and allowed to become what their label indicates "Disabled." There are many kind hearted Russian people who are trying to help these children, but the problem is so enormous that there aren't enough facilities, resources, or people that can take care of them. In St. Petersburg there are currently 16 baby homes (for children under the age of 3) the smallest one houses 80 babies, and the larger ones average close to 200. In Moscow there are 25 baby homes that are the same size. This is just 2 cities, there are countless other baby homes across this vast country. This doesn't even take into consideration the orphanages for older children. Many of these children will experience some sort of sexual or physical abuse while living inside the orphanages. Right now 3 out of 10 of these children commit suicide before their 20th birthday. These aren't just statistics. These are children whose hardships we can't even begin to comprehend. As someone that is seriously considering the options of adoption, I wonder, "What if Jon & I could change life for just one of these kids" I'm reminded of one of the last scenes in the movie Schindler's List when the Jews present Schindler with a ring that is engraved in Hebrew with they Jewish saying, "He who saves one saves the whole entire!" Most people never hear about what these children live through. I can't drastically change the world, but I can write, and I can at least raise awareness. I pray that God will lead me in whatever way He wants to do something.
I believe part of the reason more couples don't consider adoption is because they aren't aware of what is happening to children in other parts of the world. I know that children in many places are enduring hardship that we can't imagine, but I want to share with you some of the things I have learned about Russia while I was working on my master's degree in Interprofessional Health & Human Services, and through personal research so I can give more specific examples. Did you know that right now in Russia there are 1.5 million children that are available for adoption? In Russia the primary birth control treatment is abortion. Yeah, you read that right. Most people can't afford to pay for oral contraceptives, and condoms aren't in every 7-11 on the corner, but abortions are provided for free through their health system. It isn't uncommon for doctors to see women who have had over 20 abortions. If a woman doesn't realize she is pregnant early enough for a D&C then they carry the child to term, and leave it at the hospital. From the moment a mother abandons her child, they are automatically labeled by the government as disabled. In Moscow a new mother recently walked to the nursery to check on her newborn. Across the hall from the regular nursery was another room with at least 20 other newborns that were completely naked laying in their own waste with tape placed over their mouths so that no one would hear them cry. She had her camera phone, and was able to capture what we find unbelievable. It is actually a common practice for nurses and orphanage keepers to tape the mouths of infants and to tie toddlers down on their beds so that no one will have to see or hear them. It doesn't take more than a couple of weeks, and suddenly the child no longer cries, no longer tries crawling, or walking around. Completely healthy children are completely neglected, and allowed to become what their label indicates "Disabled." There are many kind hearted Russian people who are trying to help these children, but the problem is so enormous that there aren't enough facilities, resources, or people that can take care of them. In St. Petersburg there are currently 16 baby homes (for children under the age of 3) the smallest one houses 80 babies, and the larger ones average close to 200. In Moscow there are 25 baby homes that are the same size. This is just 2 cities, there are countless other baby homes across this vast country. This doesn't even take into consideration the orphanages for older children. Many of these children will experience some sort of sexual or physical abuse while living inside the orphanages. Right now 3 out of 10 of these children commit suicide before their 20th birthday. These aren't just statistics. These are children whose hardships we can't even begin to comprehend. As someone that is seriously considering the options of adoption, I wonder, "What if Jon & I could change life for just one of these kids" I'm reminded of one of the last scenes in the movie Schindler's List when the Jews present Schindler with a ring that is engraved in Hebrew with they Jewish saying, "He who saves one saves the whole entire!" Most people never hear about what these children live through. I can't drastically change the world, but I can write, and I can at least raise awareness. I pray that God will lead me in whatever way He wants to do something.
I can really appreciate your passion on this subject and trying to raise awareness of the topic. However, I really don't think it was necessary to single out people who are going through infertility issues and question their decisions. You said you would never understand why, "many people who claim that they "desperately want a child", so they shell out the big bucks for all sorts of infertility treatments and procedures," and I really hope to God that you never do fully understand that. It's something you wouldn't completely understand unless you've lived it, and that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know one thing about me, or the health issues I have had & still deal with. Stop putting words in my mouth. If my post made you angry, then you misinterpreted my meaning.
ReplyDeleteAlso I didn't say I would never understand, believe me if anyone is aware of all the options, I am.
ReplyDeletegood post! adoption is a word that comes up a lot in my marriage. ryan and i are both able to have kids but why not adopt?? why not help out a kid that has nothing?? the only problem we see is the expense!! i cant understand why it cost SO MUCH.
ReplyDeleteHanna, I know exactly what you are talking about! The cost of adoption is really expensive. We just got a breakdown of where all of the money goes in order to adopt a child from Eastern Europe. We don't have a lot of money to adopt, but we are learning all about different grants and low or no interest financing available from lots of places. There is also a $13,250 one time tax credit, plus you add the child as a dependent the year you adopt, which also helps out a lot! If it is something that God has placed on your minds then all you can do is step out in faith. My current facebook status is this... When God calls you to step out on faith, He doesn't ask you to do something that you could do on your own without Him. It's a scary thing, but you have to make a choice... Do I stay in the boat, or do I step out, and let Him do something extraordinary... Right now I'm trying to look at the cost like it compares to a new Chevy Suburban. *not that I want a Suburban, but that car is similar to the cost of adopting. Every little bit helps. :) Thank you for commenting. It made me feel encouraged!
ReplyDeleteas someone who KNOWS what you've gone through and still go through AND can relate to infertility & some of the procedures and costs of my infertility I FULLY SUPPORT AND AGREE W/ YOU! :) As blessed as Josh & I are to have your dad as my dr. who helped us conceive Shelby & deliver her safe and sound, the silence of these babies you speak of break my heart!!!! If I had unlimited amounts of money I would "Adpot 20 of 'em; we'd buy 'em if we had to" spoken by the wonderful Shelby from Steel Magnolias. i truly would! It's unfair for the previous poster to judge you and put words in your mouth not knowing you. I don't think your post is unfair or "unnecessary"! it is VERY NECESSARY!! THANK YOU for making me aware of this HORRIFIC issue in the world. I wish I could help....
ReplyDeleteThank you Bekah. I know you and Josh would turn into the old couple who lived in a shoe & had so many sweet babies they didn't know what to do LOL! There is a way that you can help. Because of your own experiences I know that you have friends and acquaintances who come to you for prayer and advice. You can share this information with them. Because of our salvation we already have a heritage of adoption. The more awareness there is, the more that can be done. These children aren't neglected because these people are bad. They just live in extreme poverty, & there aren't enough workers to give each child individual attention that they need.
ReplyDelete