Tonight we watched the movie Letters to Juliet. It was a really cute chick flick about how real love never ends. Everyone wants to find true love that ends happily ever after, but when we search for that in another person we will always find something lacking.
In November Jon and I will be married for 6 years, and I love him more now than I did on our wedding day. However, there are times when I let him down, and there are times when he disappoints me. There are times when even though he is only inches away from me, I feel alone. There are times when one of us is tired, and not in the mood to talk. There are times when we just don't understand each other. Sometimes we don't want to go to the same places or do the same things. This is something that we have to learn to accept, and work through. Even the best human love stories require a lot of upkeep. We set our hearts on finding someone that will love us so much that they literally can't get enough of us, but there is only One place you'll find that kind of devotion.
Jesus has left His spirit on this earth, and He is right there with each and every one of us all the time. He is with me everywhere I go, He knows me better than anyone else, and He still loves me. He's always there waiting for me to communicate with Him. It doesn't matter what time of the day or night it is, He's always there to listen to me, and give me encouragement, comfort, direction, peace, and wisdom. I know that there are a lot of skeptics and atheists out there, and the best explanation I can give is not my own words, but C.S. Lewis. Somehow he was able to articulate my own feelings and faith. "I believe in Christianity just as I believe the sun has risen (on a very cloudy day). Not because I can see it, but by it I see everything else." I can't actually see Jesus, but without Him I can't see beyond myself. To go through life, and never experience His love... well you've never really Lived. He has done more, and wants to continue to do more for each of us, than anyone ever could. I met Him as an 8 year old girl, and since that time He has been the one true constant in my life. He is my anchor. I have been hurt many times, and I've been through some dark places that no one else even knows about, but He has been there with me, and He has never stopped loving me.
On Monday our church began a new ladies Bible Study by Beth Moore called Stepping Up about the Psalms of Ascent (Psalms 120-134). Just so you know, I've spent my whole life going to church, and had no idea what the Psalms of Ascent were, and already I have learned so much. One of the challenges is to find some time everyday if you are physically able to get down physically on your face to pray. It doesn't have to be very long, and if you aren't physically able to get down, then lay your head down on a table. In Beth Moore's words, "In God's economy, the way Up is to get down." He wants to continuously take us to another level in our relationship with Him. No one in their right mind thinks, "Hey, I would just like for things to go down the tubes a bit, and I know things would be better, but I don't want that." If we aren't moving Up with Him then we are missing out.
A few nights ago I was feeling so sad. There are things that just haven't worked out the way I had hoped. There are relationships in my life that are negative, and no matter what I try they just don't seem to work out better. I miss my sister so much, and I'm still not used to her being so far away. Jon was sound asleep, and I felt like I was all alone with my troubles. Finally I realized it wasn't going to get any better as long as I was dwelling on these things. I spent over 30 minutes crying and praying on the bathroom floor (so I wouldn't wake Jon up & I had close access to the toilet paper to blow my nose). When I'd gotten it all out, I felt such peace. I felt God telling me that these things that were bothering me are only temporary, and He has great things beyond my greatest hopes in store for me. I had the best night's sleep in a long time after that.
According to the little blog counter I am averaging almost 200 views per post right now, and I don't even know who all of those could be. I feel like God has challenged me to open up about what He is doing with me. This is my life, I don't have it all figured out, but I know the One who has "plans to give me a great future and hope" Jeremiah 29:11.
I thought this was just beautiful! You’re so very true. We will never truly get up unless we get down on our knees. This week our church started a new ladies Bible study by Kelly Minter titled Ruth: Loss, Love & Legacy. We are only into the first week but I am so excited about studying this book of the Bible. There is no greater time than a few women getting together to better learn the Word and worship. Hope you have a great weekend!
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